It’s the start of another year. Wow, I can’t believe it’s already 2016. This time of year people make resolutions only to break them in the coming weeks and months. I, too, have been that person. It’s a common tale. However, this year I’m thinking about this a little differently. I am setting smaller goals. Little milestones to help me more towards my bigger goals.
My first goal this year is to read through Amy Morin’s book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. I am focusing on 1 principle per week so that I can really understand each concept. I want to share this journey with you, which will help me with another goal of blogging more. So get ready for some personal stories, professional advice, and my occasional rambling as we journey through these 13 principles together.
Principle #1: They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
Wow…right off the bat the title of the first principle made me reflect on my behavior before I even got into the chapter. I had to ask myself, “Do you feel sorry for yourself?” What about you? Do you feel like the world is out to get you or that you have the worst job/boss/spouse/parent/child? Do you dwell on this?
The amount of time one can spend at their own pity party can take so much time away from the more important things in life. These parties also put blinders on you so you can’t see the good things happening outside of the party. Amy Morin wrote that this self-pity can hinder you in the following ways:
- It’s a waste of time.
- It leads to more negative emotions.
- It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
- It prevents you from dealing with other emotions.
- It causes you to overlook the good in your life.
- It interferes with relationships.
#5 is the one that speaks to me the most. Currently, my step-father is going through some very serious health problems. There are days that it is hard for me to focus on my work or my husband or my friends. My mind gets consumed with the what-ifs of the situation. But then I turn my thoughts to the good things in life, the memories we share as a family, and the relationships we have with each other. I remember the first time I got to go out with my step-dad and mom. I was only 8 years old so getting to go out with the adults was exciting. We went to a music event at a local school to see different acts perform. I remember sitting on my step-dad’s lap the entire night so that I could see the show. He tells me that I won him over that night. Memories like this are helping me not get into a pity-party mindset about the situation. It’s the good in my life that I’m not going to let myself overlook.
My favorite part of this chapter was the line, “If you never take a step in the right direction, you’ll stay right where you are.” BOOM…Mind blown. So simple and so powerful. Exactly what I needed to hear. Reading this book, writing this blog, and being intentional about both are my first steps in the right direction.
I am grateful to Dave Stachowiak for having Amy Morin on his Coaching for Leaders podcast last year. I listened to it on a drive to Atlanta, GA and it stuck with me every since. I am excited to continue to share this journey with you over the next 12 weeks.
Interested in the Amy Morin and her book? Check out http://www.amymorinlcsw.com
Listen to the interview of Amy Morin with Dave Stachowiak here: http://coachingforleaders.com/podcast/204/
Happy New Year!
Heather
College & Career: Uncomplicated 